By TOM MOORE
MAHWAH, N.J. – The Ramapo College Women’s Center, Feb. 9, hosted “Real Men, Real Talk,” a discussion group targeting how guys see and define healthy masculinity.
“Real Men, Real Talk” is a bi-weekly event that looks at what healthy masculinity means to participants. James Perlas, male outreach coordinator says discussions on masculinity are becoming more prevalent in the college-aged environment. This can be a touchy subject for some so Perlas always initiates discussion rules, called “safe space,” at the beginning of each meeting.
“Basically, what a ‘safe space’ means is that anyone can come in and talk about things without feeling like they are going to be in danger of prejudice,” Perlas said.
Perlas has made these meetings at the Women’s Center possible for over two years now. His goal is to create a safe space for men to talk about personal issues.
With this “safe space” in mind, many students can personally define what healthy masculinity is. With a mostly male group , there were many different viewpoints. Understanding one’s own masculinity and being comfortable in it, not degrading others through your masculinity, and not judging others ideas of healthy masculinity were just some of the student definitions.
“Not letting certain roles define who you are,” is how student, Paolo Trinidad, gave his definition of healthy masculinity.
Society’s view of healthy masculinity might be seen as “hyper-masculinity,” or men having a “stoic” and “show no emotion” attitude coupled with the necessity to be a dominant leader of the household.
From an article from Black Girl Magazine, it has also been found that if this “respect” and “leader” characteristics are unfound within a man, then he is viewed as “not man enough” for society. This view can often scar most men and make them feel inferior.
This discussion of “not man enough,” is being explored by many documentary filmmakers. Two major films that have discussed the idea of healthy masculinity are The Mask You Live in and Tough Guise. Both explore how masculinity can be defined at a young age and how men are now trying to break the norms of gender roles and hyper-masculinity. The Mask You Live in specifically goes into how kids are taught these ideas of hyper-masculinity and how it affects them.
While Tough Guise explores similar ideas and links them to school shootings, domestic abuses, and severe depression rates among men. Perlas has shown the film at Ramapo College, in the past, in order to begin the discussion on healthy masculinity and why it is important.
The Future of the Healthy Masculinity Discussion in the Women’s Center
While “Real Men, Real Talk” continues through the rest of the semester, it is one of the many ways that Perlas hopes to extend the discussion. Perlas will sustain this trend when he screens the 2013 sequel, Tough Guise 2, Feb. 12, at Ramapo College.
While “Real Talk” runs throughout the rest of the spring semester, Perlas continues to have events that promote ideas of healthy masculinity. Within the next couple of weeks, Perlas will pursue similar talks on his Real Men of Ramapo Calendar.
Perlas has even talked about doing a joint effort with the Bergen Center for Hope and Safety for assembly’s at local high schools for promotion of healthy masculinity.
“With ‘Real Talk’ I am hoping to continue having speakers come in to discuss topics that run alongside masculinity issues,” said Perlas. “For a meeting coming up, I am hoping to get members from the different cultural organizations on campus and have them discuss how masculinity is brought up in their different cultures.”
Honestly, I didn’t know that “Real Talk” was a regular event on campus. I think you covered it really well and provided a lot of good information about the issue. I also really liked that you included the trailer to one of the film’s that you talked about.
To optimize the title, I would maybe change it to, “Ramapo College Initiates ‘Real Talk’ on Healthy Masculinity.” This might cause readers to be more curious about what Ramapo is doing. When they read the story itself, they can learn that “Real Talk” is being held by the Women’s Center. I think your original title is fine, though.